like attracts like!!!!

My last blog was probably a long time back, somewhere i had lost the interest to write or probably do nethng else too … or mayb i just wrote whn my personal life was a mess … today i donno y m i writing, is it sheer boredom or a sense of awakening … or .. wait i know what it is … my blog will tell u y i m writing this stuff..

yes my life is a mess rite now .. wid no job n a big entrance exam on its way is making me nervous .. can i crack it or i cant … most of the time i find sayin it to myself i cant … but i hate words lik  i cannot coz i have been a very positive person .. but lately things r not goin my way … n i was slowly losing my confidence … tht is when i came across this book which many of u might have read it .. its ” THE SECRET” by Rhonda Byrne…  I  never read self help books but i started readin it out of boredom  .. my first reaction was i don think this works coz lately i have been a pessimist .. but still i went on readin .. n at one point i thght lets try the SECRETS …. i do have a bit of anxiety problem n tht is whn i thght its the best time to implement this excersise i took 3 deep breaths n  after few minutes the discomfort started going off n i started feeling better , confident , n happy .. all with jus 3 deep breaths .. i have always believed, to attract happiness u have to convey a message to it tht u r ready to accept it wid open arms ….. if u think ur life isnt a happy one, u will always attract unhappiness in ur life n the cycle goes on ..

If u believe in urself sucess will follow u… only n only if u r happy wid urself … this book made me realise tht my own fundas did work but somewhre down the line i got so carried away wid my own problems, so i never implemeted them … i have my SECRET too n i know it always worked n it always will …. n i m soo happy tht i realised it today after a long gap … but der aaye durusth aaye ….:)

ahem

sometimes i feel light and some times heavier i donno if it is my weight or the weight inside my head tht matters …………..

To BE or not to BE!!!!!!

I quit !!! i hate to say this words or even hear some1 else saying it ….. recently i went to see 3 idiots when the guy commits suicide and he writes I quit on the wall it sucks I cannot think of quitting any thing in my life or my life itself for that matter…… but recently I was so stressed in life I thought the  idea of quitting the one thing I loved most “dreaming” was easier. I was not even an average student in my engg life I sucked at it I found my passion in graphics instead …. I havent worked harder in my whole life as I would have worked in the last 2 months I thought I love this work even if I was getting paid like peanuts I din think bout money than ….. suddenly my passion turned into obsession of being something I always dreamed of . Everything I did seemed so small not just to my parents but to me too … I had made up my mind to follow my dreams no matter what I will fight every 1 but its easier said then done …. I realized I cudnt fight them nemore ….. my parents asking me to take up govt job instead or ppl asking me why i changed my field from engg to advertising .Earlier it was fun to fight but suddenly I found I have no strength to answer ne1 instead I had started asking the same question to myself … was I doing the rite thing, m I in a right profession ? quitting seemed simple then ….I dream big real big ..I walk on the road lik I m the future ceo … rofl but its true … money matters to me … they say money cant buy everythng but I like to believe it does ..
” FAITH” is an important word to me I believe in me  … but suddenly I was forced to doubt if I actually had it in me ……
losing confidence is a terrible thing  I knw how life can change in just 15 mins I have seen it n felt it too…. I wan to prove it that I have it in me to be der where i c myself its not easy not following the herd …. it takes a lot of pain to go down the road where people don wan u to go …. but neways who are they to decide, I do things I like or I believe in, even if they mean to prove wrong later … coz life is  RnD n u cannot go to heaven if u don’t want to die .

SATAN’S ARRIVAL

Bombed, raped us again and again,

tearing apart innocent lives, taking their breath away.

 Terrorized our lands where we dwell.

 and left dead bodies to smell.

And we call this a free country ?

In blood, sweat and tears,

 we were.

We ran for our dear life’s.

Falling from our grace.

Tumbling over our pride.

 We are nothing but captive fools.

And we’re about to break.

We’re so consumed with how much we get.

 We are getting dirty, with the people spreading the dirt.

 All the things we thought we could be, and the dreams we saw, have fallen.

Disguised Satan’s, decided the fate of our lives.

Riped-off, life from the streets, and left, for us to put it back in place.

 We are nothing, but trying to live, like blind men.

 When we were full of anger, full of might.

 We, opposed when we lost it. we, talked when we thought about it.

 we, wept when we felt it.

When, old we left it.

 Just wasted our time in hate and regrets.

 We thought the sun will shine and it rained. But, Did we even feel the pain?

We’re just stone-cold men.

 And we call ourselves unbreakable ?

Wounds so deep, the time cannot erase all of this.

 There ain’t a single lesson we’ve learnt,

ain’t a single stone that we’ve turned.

 We all suffered the same.

But now, we’re just placing the blames.

 And we’re calling ourselves innocent.

 In blood, sweat and tears, we were.

We ran for our dear life’s.

Falling from our grace.

 Tumbling over our pride.

We’ll always be captive fools.

And we’re about to break.

—–ABHIJEET GOLE

PRISONERS OF WAR???

 Before me n ppl in mumbai  forget the terrorist attack on 26 th nov  it was important for me to write tis  blog …. I was a proud Indian before tht … but yaa I WAS …   …. The horrific conditions ppl of my country stays in ……  its been few days n I have been haunted by   thngs I  never thght of earlier …. 

  Everyday whn I read the newspaper I m shocked to c the  eroding  sensitivity  of mumbaities ……   

 Whn I go to college  I m so scared to travel  i represent  the citizens who  is scared to travel in trains scared to trust ne1 … scared whn thy c som1 wid heavy luggage …. Scared to even help some1 …..  ….

 Thy say  Mumbai has a spirit wch wud never die  but  I guess it is dyin a slow death  I potray a citizen who  wud rather  go to western countries n settle coz he is so damn scared ….   Cowardness  is slowly creeping in ….  Its lik  India is sitting on a time bomb …… but frankly tis 1 incident was to provoke us to do somethng   … do somethng wrong  like the US  did  whn Taliban attacked  the twin tower ….    US attacked afganistan  n killed 1000s of civilians….  Wch made more terrorist ….   U kill 1 bin laben n next wud b ready to take the throne ….   Thy all r waitin to b jehadis  n gain 1 way ticket to jannat …… 

 We all r prisorners  in our  own country wch cud nt  provide simple  thngs lik food clothin n shelter  to its childrens ….. I feel sick inside  whn I c  kids beggin ….. wht  does the  future lies  whn  the future itself is naked n  cannt even  afford 1 square meal a day ……. Wht kind of superpower will India b … no 1 knws ….

  It’s the bloody corruption  in every strata of our society …………..  india is a rich country wid poor ppl in it

 Only thng I m proud of  tis country is  the defense system  wch again  is ruled by corrupt politicians ….  But the reason y we cud live a life the way we do widout caring bout others is coz of the  defense system of the country n no damn politician has the right to give derogatory remarks ….. ppl  lik kerala CM  shud b shot …..

  Hope revolution arises frm tis episode n we don jus sit n crib bout the whole system  I pledge to fight for it ….n nt b a victim nemore  coz I wan to b free …. Freedom to say NO  to terrorism ,  freedom to say NO  to corrupt politicians ……. Its  time to rise …..

 

WAR WITHIN II

I got up tis morning n asked my mom  “  do u look bak at life n analyze wht u have acheived  or have u done all the thngs u always wanted to do …  ” i asked tis because whn i ask tis question to myself i feel i m stuck  somewhere  have been doin the same thng all my life  every single  day is not a new day for me …..  my life is a roller coster ride by other peoples perception …. thy c it as n interesting n adventurous life …. but y do i  feel so frustrated n bored all the time…. m i cravin for more adventure in my life ….. mayb i get bored coz i have a simple life rite now … most of teh time is spend in  travelling n college…….

 life teaches u lesson every single day but its upon us to interprete it correctly …. i donno if i m learning correct lessons from my life … or mayb it is like m interpreting my lessons in a wrong way ….

 wat if i learn all teh lessons n thnk i m always right whn suddendly life  teaches u different lesson …….i donno wat is right n wat is wrong …… people say follow ur instinct but my instinct seems to have died …. it cannt trust people …… i can love some1 but not trust thm.. its bcoz i knw a person can do nethng its like a scorpio will always bite coz its his nature to bite ….. so is it a human nature to betray  or to hurt some1 else ….can we even trust ourselves ???

whn i look bak at life i feel i have done all the wrong thngs in life  or taken wrong steps ….. but thn i don regret it i donno y ??? i have done thngs whn i myself knw thy r wrong but i did coz i jus wanted to feel how it is like to b doin all wrong thngs ………. thngs like pataving the wrong guy even though i knw it will go all wrong only to c how it feels coz  for me its ok to b wrong thn to cribe n think  kash maine life main yeh kiya hota ….. but i have paid a heavy price for doing all tht ….. still i knw i will stay like tis all my life coz this is me  m glad i wont change even if its been tough to b me

A WAR WITHIN

 Everyday i get up i exactly knw how my day wud wrap up … by doing absolutely nothing … its the same routine everyday ..  n i m bored wid myself now … tis boredom is soon turning into frustration …..  my daily routine is  getup  watch tv  cook somthng for myself  turn on teh computer check my mails or jus delete thm widout readin …comparing guys on facebook jus over n over again ….. thn call up few friends n discuss how frustrating  we r in our lives …… 

we cry over how we r slipping into depression …..  we crib n crib …… we appear for our exams n  tell our frds 40 mila toh chalega  n whn  u get 60 u r unhappy …..   we r like a man who wants to reach a  hilltop but is told  u will find strong winds n landslides n the road der is dangerous we go alll prepared for teh worst n whn we reach the hilltop  the worst has nt come n u realise it never will  but instead of being happy u r sad … coz u expected the worst from urself ………. we r the architect of our own dismay …. we love  self pity …..  every man does …  no body can ever satisfy n ever understand wat he wants  its like the  WAR  we r against ourselves

being good is not good enough!!!!!!!!!!!

“Being good is not good enough ” this is wht my teacher said me once when i was in my 10 std coz i was wasting my time by helpin others ……. this phrase went wid me all along n taught me a lot …….. which made me tough from inside but somewhere down the line i become as i was some few yrs back ……..getting hurt when i fought wid a friend is somethng quite natural ……….. but i have been hurtin myself quite often this days ………

ppl say u get hurt coz u have expectation from ppl around u …….. n its natural to keep expectation frm ppl u have been so long n so tht means gettin hurt quite often will b natural tooo….

jus 2 days bak i had a terrible time wid a friend (he is nt a frd nemore)………. tht says it all v had a long fight it was the first ever fight between us n it blow out of proportion but thn somehow i thought it was my mistake coz i get so emotional wid my frds n stupidly go on makin best frds ………….. widout actually understandin ders no 1 who will b wid u whn u need thm most ……. whn u need a frd someday der will b some1 today n somebody else the next day .. tis is how life goes on ……… whn u r in school u have some very good frds as soon as u join college thy get busy n thn u lose contact n 1 fine day u meet thm at some social networkin site ………. n this thngs goes on n on ……….

few things i learnt dis days is 1) keep a carefree attitude , do wht u like n duniya gayi tel lene

2)jo jaisa hain uske saath aisa hi rehne ka

3)life main kissiko bhi jyada importance nahin dene ka

4) friendhsip is for namesake u make frds so tht u can get some help frm thm n thy can get some help frm u

5)in tht case if some 1 is makin ur life difficult u make his life difficult too …. don jus sit n cry

6) believe in no 1 but only u

allll this is gyan given to me by some ppl around me all this points above point out to me to b selfish which is not at all difficult n i thnk i will enjoi my new phase in life ……. lets c how well it goes ………… but i wud wan to thank few ppl in my life coz thy were nvr selfish to me n so i will nvr b selfish to thm n i knw thy mean friends to me for life …………

LOVE V/S LOVE

y r relationship so confusing , well m nt here to bore u on soem stupid love story . stupid? ya i mean rite m so bugged up wid ppl around me n der stupid love stories . y the hell r thy makin life difficult to live in ……………..  its always rite whn ppl say u shud listen to ur instinct , ur heart nvr goes wrong but thn y do u heart takes u to the same person who gives u humiliation , embarassment , n teh most important thng u lose ur peace of mind

like a frd of mine called me up n said plz don give my phone nos to ne not to our classmates whn i asked her y she said she needs peace of mind wan to b in hibernation … …. babez u need peace frm ur boyfrd . m rite ur over possessive boyfrd who don wan u to mingle wid  ur frds

der is tis frd who wants to go out on a date wid me but is already carryin on wid a gal n feels guilty for goin on a date wid me…………….. coz he doesnt wants to hide ne thng frm his gf but still wants to go on a date n enjoi his life like all his frds do . now tis is soemthng whn i thnk its better to b single thn feeling guilty bout hidin such thngs from ur partner..  ………. sometimes i feel u shud give freedom to ur partner but thn holdin soemthng too lightly can get thm out of ur hand n holdin too tightly can  break teh relationship…………… so wht to do exactly whn u r so much in love n tryin hard not to make ne mistakes

most ppl will agree wid me on this issue n will want to find the answer to all this but thn even i don have n answer to all this.. i have been into two failed relatioship …….. n its preety easier to give advice to ppl but whn it comes to ur own self u lose ur confidence ……….. i had always been a very confident gal n was ready to run wid other ppl in this fast lane but suddendly i lost teh grip n forget runnin it was difficult to stand on my feet too . i lost my confidence  n m still tryin to gain tht bak…………n have made up my mind not to fall into such games again yes love is nthin but all bout mind games…….. so stay away frm it n enjoi……….. sayonara